Leading Through Loss: Navigating Grief While Supporting Your Team
There’s no easy way to talk about loss. Grief is deeply personal, unpredictable, and often uncomfortable—for both those experiencing it and the people around them. Yet, as leaders, we don’t have the option to avoid it. We face it ourselves, and we witness it in the lives of the people we lead and serve. Recently, I lost my sister Lydia, a loss that has left me both heartbroken and reflective. She was my rock, my guide, and the person I could always turn to for wisdom and perspective. Her passing has profoundly shaped how I see life, leadership, and the fragile beauty of time.
Grief, as I’ve come to understand, is inevitable for all of us. It’s a part of leadership because it’s a part of life. Yet navigating grief while leading others can feel like an impossible balance. How do you honor your own emotions while showing up for your team? How do you create space for their grief when it arises? How do you lead authentically through the hardest moments?
I’m currently in an exploration of those questions. It’s about making space for emotions—both your own and those of your team. It’s about asking better questions to offer meaningful support. It’s about embracing vulnerability, not as a weakness but as a pathway to connection. And, perhaps most importantly, it’s about focusing on what truly matters, especially when life reminds us just how fleeting it is.
The Complexity of Leading Through Grief
As leaders, we are often expected to be the steady hand, the guiding light, and the source of clarity for those we lead. But what happens when we, too, are grappling with something as profound and disorienting as grief? Balancing the demands of leadership with the weight of personal loss can feel like walking a tightrope. On one hand, you’re mourning and processing your emotions; on the other, you’re showing up for your team, making decisions, and maintaining a sense of stability.
Loss is a universal experience. It touches every one of us, including the people we serve. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or another deeply personal hardship, grief finds its way into every corner of life—including the workplace. Recognizing this shared reality is essential because it reminds us that we’re not alone in navigating these challenges. It also calls us to approach both ourselves and our teams with greater compassion.
But the initial shock of grief can be the hardest part. When I received the call about my sister’s decision to stop treatment, I felt frozen. Even though I logically understood her choice, my heart wasn’t ready to let go. And when she passed, it felt like the ground beneath me had shifted. How do you process something so final while still leading a meeting, answering emails, or supporting others? That first step of showing up—when you feel overwhelmed, raw, and unsure—is perhaps the hardest.
Yet, in those moments, we begin to learn. We learn to lead differently—not by pushing grief aside but by embracing it, allowing it to teach us patience, presence, and the strength of vulnerability.
Practical Ways to Support Grieving Team Members
Make Space for Emotions:
One of the most powerful things a leader can do for a grieving team member is to create an environment where emotions are welcomed, not shunned. Encourage undistracted listening by setting aside devices and offering your full attention. Grief doesn’t need fixing—it needs witnessing. Simply being present, without judgment or the urge to provide solutions, validates the other person’s experience and offers a sanctuary of compassion. Sometimes, the best support is sitting quietly together, allowing the person to feel whatever arises without the pressure to explain or diminish their pain.
Ask Intentional Questions:
Well-meaning phrases like “Let me know if you need anything” can often leave the grieving person feeling lost, unsure of what support they might actually need. Instead, try asking more specific, intentional questions that show a deeper level of care:
“What do you need from me right now?”
“How can I support you best today?”
“Would you like me to share your story, or would you prefer privacy?”
These questions not only offer concrete ways to help but also empower the grieving person to articulate their needs in real-time, which can be incredibly grounding during periods of emotional upheaval.
Respect the Stages of Grief:
Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows, often catching us off guard with its intensity. Leaders can provide ongoing support by recognizing this unpredictability and checking in regularly. Simple prompts like, “Let me know if something changes in how you feel or what you need,” communicate that your support isn’t a one-time offer—it’s continuous. This kind of open-ended availability ensures that team members feel safe to express changing emotions and needs as they navigate their journey through grief.
Leading through loss requires sensitivity, patience, and an openness to be present with discomfort—both our own and that of others. By making space, asking thoughtful questions, and respecting the process, leaders can offer meaningful support to their teams in their most vulnerable moments.
How Grief Changes Leadership
Embracing Vulnerability:
Grief has a way of stripping away pretense, exposing the raw humanity we often try to shield from others. As a leader, embracing this vulnerability can deepen your empathy and strengthen the connections you share with your team. By allowing grief to be part of your story, you humanize yourself, showing that even leaders are not immune to life’s challenges. Sharing your experiences of loss—when appropriate—creates space for others to feel safe sharing their own struggles, fostering trust and building an environment of mutual support. Vulnerability, rather than being a weakness, becomes a bridge to deeper relationships.
The Perspective Shift:
There’s a unique clarity that comes with grief. It sharpens your focus on what truly matters—relationships, connections, and the legacy you leave behind. The daily distractions and pressures of leadership start to feel insignificant compared to the value of meaningful moments. Grief reminds us that time is precious and that each interaction has the potential to create an impact. For leaders, this means prioritizing authentic, purpose-driven relationships over endless tasks and noise. A leader who focuses on connection inspires a culture of care and intentionality that resonates throughout the organization.
Motivation to Make a Difference:
One of the most profound realizations grief brings is the finite nature of time. Tools like the 4,000 Weeks calendar—a visualization of an average human lifespan—highlight just how limited our days truly are. Grief amplifies this awareness, inspiring a drive to make every day count. It pushes leaders to seek purpose, to build legacies that reflect their deepest values, and to create opportunities for impact in the lives of others. By holding this perspective, leaders can channel their grief into action, transforming loss into a powerful motivator for positive change.
Grief changes leadership by deepening authenticity, shifting priorities, and motivating meaningful action. It’s a painful teacher, but one that offers profound lessons about the type of leader—and person—you aspire to be.
Lessons for Prioritizing What Truly Matters
Treating Your Body Like a Temple:
Grief often serves as a stark reminder of our own mortality and the importance of caring for ourselves. When we’re deep in the throes of loss, it’s easy to neglect physical and mental well-being. Yet, this is precisely when self-care is most essential. Leaders can use grief as a catalyst to prioritize health—whether that means committing to better sleep, nourishing the body with healthier foods, or finding ways to manage stress more effectively. Small, intentional changes, like daily walks or moments of mindfulness, can build the resilience needed to navigate the challenges of leadership and loss. Your body and mind are the vessels through which you lead—treat them with the reverence they deserve.
Focusing on the Essential:
Loss has a way of stripping life down to its core, forcing us to reflect on what truly matters. Use this moment of clarity to take inventory of your current priorities. Are they aligned with your values? Are you spending time on what’s most important, or are distractions clouding your path? As a leader, this might mean redirecting your energy toward cultivating meaningful relationships or focusing on the legacy you wish to leave behind. By realigning with your core values, you can approach both leadership and life with greater intention and purpose.
Making Every Day Count:
The final lesson grief imparts is the urgency of time. Each sunrise is an opportunity to lead with love, purpose, and intention. Instead of waiting for the “right” moment, commit to showing up fully each day—for your team, your loved ones, and yourself. Every conversation, every decision, and every connection has the potential to leave a lasting impact. Grief reminds us that the days are finite, but the way we spend them defines our legacy. Take that first step today and lead in a way that honors what truly matters most.
Grief is one of the most profound teachers we’ll encounter in life and leadership. It challenges us to embrace vulnerability, deepen our connections, and refocus on what truly matters. Leading through loss is not about perfection—it’s about showing up authentically, creating space for others, and allowing yourself the grace to navigate your own emotions while supporting your team.
As I reflect on the life of my sister Lydia, I am reminded of her unwavering strength, love, and wisdom. Her presence was a gift that shaped my journey and inspired so much of who I strive to be today. In her memory, I carry forward the lessons her life and passing have taught me: to prioritize the relationships that matter, to lead with intention, and to live with purpose each day.
I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your own priorities. What truly matters in your life and leadership? How can you support those around you who may be experiencing grief? And most importantly, how can you honor what matters most—today and every day?
If you're ready to inspire courageous leadership in your organization, discover more about my keynote Courage as a Carry-On. Let’s explore how these principles can transform your team. Click here to book me for your next event.
